Gather 'round, friends.
Disclaimer: Everything I say here is my opinion. You don't have to agree with it. It's my blog, so I do what I want!
Let's talk about the "Marine wife, toughest job in the Corps" thing.
I will confess, I have the key-chain. I didn't buy it for myself. The Husband brought it home for me over a leave block right around the same time the post wedding, fear of the unknown, adjusting to my birth-control hormone breakdown happened. I've had it ever since just because it was a gift from him and it's another thing I like having with me. It's kind of like a security blanket.
However... there's a reason why I'll never buy something with that for myself, though. If I lose the key-chain, I won't replace it.
Why?
Because being the wife is NOT the toughest job in the Corps, contrary to popular belief.
I understand that the waiting and the not knowing is hard, trust me. I've experienced those nights wondering where The Husband is and if he's safe while deployed. I've been lonely. I've been pissed off. I've been annoyed.
I've been there!
However... ask me when the last time I was up before 8 was. Ask me when was the last time I slept in a Conex box for 7 months (or ever, for that matter). Ask me about the last time I patrolled in an active war zone, the last time I trained harder than I've ever trained before, the last time I filled out a will...
The answer to all of those questions is "Never", by the way.
I think I have it pretty easy and comparing my "job" as a spouse to my husband's job as a Marine trivializes his job. And I can't do that.
Let's talk about the "Marine wife, toughest job in the Corps" thing.
I will confess, I have the key-chain. I didn't buy it for myself. The Husband brought it home for me over a leave block right around the same time the post wedding, fear of the unknown, adjusting to my birth-control hormone breakdown happened. I've had it ever since just because it was a gift from him and it's another thing I like having with me. It's kind of like a security blanket.
However... there's a reason why I'll never buy something with that for myself, though. If I lose the key-chain, I won't replace it.
Why?
Because being the wife is NOT the toughest job in the Corps, contrary to popular belief.
I understand that the waiting and the not knowing is hard, trust me. I've experienced those nights wondering where The Husband is and if he's safe while deployed. I've been lonely. I've been pissed off. I've been annoyed.
I've been there!
However... ask me when the last time I was up before 8 was. Ask me when was the last time I slept in a Conex box for 7 months (or ever, for that matter). Ask me about the last time I patrolled in an active war zone, the last time I trained harder than I've ever trained before, the last time I filled out a will...
The answer to all of those questions is "Never", by the way.
I think I have it pretty easy and comparing my "job" as a spouse to my husband's job as a Marine trivializes his job. And I can't do that.
I agree! I've read many blogs that say the spouses job is the hardest, but I don't believe that to be true. 1. I've never been a soldier, so I have NO idea what it'd be like and therefore, I cannot compare. 2. Honestly, I'm OK with never knowing what it'd be like...he's much better at it than I ever would be 3. Yes, the sleepless-anxiety driven-lonely nights suck and they are not easy, but I still have the comforts of our bed, our home, regular food, a warm shower/bath and all the "normal" comfort items I could want from the civilian world. I feel like it's not fair of me to even compare these two "jobs" because I have not been in his boots, nor has he been in my boots. Good post. I'm a new follower, by the way :)
ReplyDeleteAmen to that. I know our job isn't wasy compared to most people... but our husbands have it way way more difficult than we do.
ReplyDeleteI can see both sides of the argument (I was actually talking to someone about this not too long ago). For me, I was getting ready to join the Army when I met my babe. He talked me out of it because we'd never see each other, so I gave up my dream and followed his instead. I have never looked back or regretted it once. However, when he was out there, I was home a wreck wishing I could be doing something. I don't think it should be a competition between the two and in my opinion I don't think the guys are insulted or feel trivialized by the saying (well, I can only speak for mine and I know he didn't because he always talked about how hard I had it and how he wouldn't want my job). I think the difficulty of it is all relative, I'd say getting up at 4 and running who knows how many miles is killer but they'd say they're used to it. They'd say waiting and worrying and raising kids alone is killer but we're used to it. Either way, I've always liked the saying because it emphasizes how much we really do that isn't actually DOING anything (i.e. the waiting and worrying) and how much of it is without pay just for the simple fact of love. But I can see how some people don't agree with it as well because OF COURSE their job is super hard!! Just my two cents ;)
ReplyDeleteYou can have your two cents! I like when you stop by. :)
ReplyDeleteMy husband's friends tell me all the time "Your job is harder than mine", so I know they aren't offended by the merchandise at all, because for whatever reason, lol, they think I have it harder.
The thing that makes me most irritated is when a girl LIVES by that, you know what I mean? An Air Force wife came on a message board I post on with this maaaajor attitude one day. The biggest thing I remember from the whole thing was her mocking the other branches and saying "Air Force wife is the toughest job in the force! They sell that stuff!"
No joke.
We had to break it to her that not only did they sell wife and mother, but they sold it to other branches as well. lol
Anyway. That's just a funny example, but my pet peeve are the girls whose motto is "the toughest job in the...". And I think it's because of what you said about competition. I hate the "I have it worse than you" game, and I think this sort of thing kind of encourages it.
As a soldier, this is quite refreshing to read. I have to say that being a spouse is a difficult job, but what irks me is the actual phrase "Toughest job in the (whatever service)".
ReplyDeleteTougher than being a PJ? SF? EOD? I think not.
Is it tough? Yeah. The mental and emotional toll of not knowing what's going on, and not being able to know what the job truly entails and what it's like from within the uniform is like living your life on blind faith and mystery. But the point is that being a spouse isn't actually a job IN the service.
I'm just happy to read a blog by a spouse who isn't wearing a husband's rank or vicariously wearing his service uniform.
I am commenting on this post a bit late. Love your blog, btw! As a Marine vet myself, and a spouse, I would like to include my thoughts on this matter. :)
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say being a spouse is the "toughest" job in the "insert branch here"; however, when having to raise children by your lonesome can get pretty rough. (Not that I would be toting the saying around, lol) It's giving birth by yourself, catching flights with a baby on your hip, all nighter's in the ER because your child is running 104 temp, and trying to keep a household together, so your husband can focus on his mission, when he is deployed. There are times when I wish I was the one in uniform, because my job never ends. I say that because I was on BOTH sides. I love being a mother, and a Marine spouse, but I do like to acknowledge that you gotta be a stong, independent spouse to keep the military family going. :)
Hi "The Couple" (sorry I don't know what to call you!).
ReplyDeleteThanks, and welcome!
I definitely see what you're saying. I've only been on the side of the spouse and I freaking *love* it. There's nothing like being a Marine wife, that's for sure.
I think there are aspects of being a spouse that many Marines don't understand unless they've been there (or so I've been told by The Husband's friends), which are difficult. The distance sucks, being a geographically single parent and/or wife sucks, the not knowing sucks, but there are some of those spouses out there that feel that just by virtue of marrying someone in a uniform, they therefore deserve a medal. You know the ones I'm talking about, I'm sure. haha This post and the ideas in it are geared really toward the ones who take the concept literally and feel they are better than those around them because of it.
The lifestyle of a military spouse is hard and it's definitely not for everyone, but taking the whole "toughest job" thing seriously is just so silly to me!
Lol. I need to get that fixed on my page! My site is: Semper Fi to Apple Pie. :)
ReplyDelete