03 March, 2011

Helicopter Wives

Have you heard the term "Helicopter Mom"? It's used to describe a mom who hovers over everything their child does.

I'm applying the same idea to the wives who hover over everything their husbands do.

The ones who think they can call their husband's CO when he has to go TDY, Mojave Viper, or even on a deployment when it doesn't work with their schedule, the ones who dictate who their husbands can be friends with (Only males), the ones who must go every.single.place their husbands go.

We all know at least one.

That has to be exhausting.

The ones that go up their husband's CoC are the ones that absolutely slay me.

Because, really, what good is that going to do? What do you really think is going to happen? Is the CO is going to be like... "You know, you're right! I'm sorry that our deployment schedule is interfering with your birthday. He can stay home. The rest of the unit will leave, we'll be fine, don't worry."?

No. They're not.

Ladies, I know it's hard sometimes... I know all the workups, the nights away, the deployments suck. And they usually come at the most inopportune times.

I know. I spent my first anniversary with The Husband in Iraq. My mom took me out to dinner that night. He was deployed from September to April. He missed every major holiday in between.

However, at some point or another, I decided that I was going to marry The Husband and therefore deal with all the things that come with him being a Marine.

And that means I go on with life. My life CAN'T stop every time we're apart. If that happened, I would have shriveled up just over two years ago.

The facts are these:

Your spouse is in the military.

Your spouse WILL deploy at some point. They WILL. It is not IF, just when.

You have to have your own identity. This is a must. It is okay to be proud of your spouse, but at the end of the day, your self worth cannot be wrapped up in their uniform. It can't.

Trust and communication are necessary.

It IS possible to survive deployments and military life in general unscathed. I promise. Find a good support system, learn some new hobbies, and enjoy the ride!

8 comments:

  1. Hey pretty lady! I gave you a stylish blogger award on my blog :)
    http://amileinmyboots05.blogspot.com/2011/03/i-won-two-awards.html

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  2. Let me just say that i 100% agree and can't stand these women either!! Loved the way you put it!!

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  3. I have friends whose spouses are Canadian military, and every. single. time. one of them gets sent for training or deployed, they act like it's this new idea. Like they weren't present in the pre-deployment counselling or something.

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  4. @ Loveley: Doesn't it just blow your mind? Like it came out of left field or something. lol Dude, your spouse is in the military... Deployments are apart of the deal.

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  5. I wish I could super like this post.

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  6. I'm really proud of you for posting this. You've grown so much on this journey, my friend!

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  7. wow i couldnt agree more!! I say the same thing always and not just with married couples. I cant stand it when even boyfriends and girlfriends cant be independent of each other and have their own lives!! drives me bonkers!

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  8. I really like this post. One comment that I really liked was: "You have to have your own identity. This is a must. It is okay to be proud of your spouse, but at the end of the day, your self worth cannot be wrapped up in their uniform. It can't." I have met so many wives/girlfriends that talk about certain steps that their husbands go through as if they are achieving them also. My husband is going through advanced helo training and one example is "Our winging date got pushed back, I am so irritated!" Like all of the sudden the wife has also gone through flight school and is also a pilot. To me it feels like they are taking away from all that their husbands/boyfriends have accomplished and putting that success on themselves. Of course, they have supported them, but the wives have not gone through the schooling and training so I just don't understand it.

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