29 January, 2012

Stop. It.

You know what frustrates me to absolutely NO END about military spouses?

The pissing contests.

You probably know what I'm talking about.

For example: someone on a military message board I posted on started a thread asking for Valentines day ideas. She's a newlywed, young, and really sweet. She just wanted some ideas on how to make it special.

In comes "pity-me" spouse...

"My husband and I have never spent a Valentines day together since we started dating, and won't this year either", "I usually just send him a care package", "He got to watch me open the flowers he sent me on Skype once".

That's sweet.

Poor girl just wanted some ideas about how to do Valentines day.

By the way, she is ALSO a military spouse. So the fact that you've missed and/or are missing holidays with your spouse is not new or special around here.

I wish wives would quit trying to out-do one another's experiences.

There are millions, MILLIONS, of other people who have been in your situation. While it might be unique to your social circle, it is not unique to this lifestyle.

There is no award for having the best sob story or dealing with the most deployments.

And there is certainly no honor in making other spouses feel bad for being able to be with their spouse while you're not. If anything, it makes you look bitter, and nasty, and ridiculous.

Ugh. This just makes me SO angry!

How about just answering her question? If you can't, you can't. No harm, no foul.

Trust me, I'm not one for blowing smoke up someone's ass or sugarcoating things. I'm blunt and believe in tough love.

This is not that sort of situation. She didn't need perspective, or to be made to feel bad purely because she gets to spend time with her husband on Valentines day. She needed ideas.

Don't be that person. Seriously.

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