05 August, 2014

Civilian life

Today was The Husband's first full day as a civilian. 

It didn't feel any different because he had picked up his DD214 and started terminal leave back in June, so it was business as usual. 

I'm not sure what I was expecting it to feel like. 

However, I'll be completely honest: It's very weird. 

Things have felt weird since he came home in June. Not weird between us, but... like something was off. 

The Husband came home and started his new job right away. I was having trouble sleeping because all I could think about was the massive change coming up in our lives. Losing that income, the healthcare, a routine and trading it in for lower income, mediocre health insurance, and a full time school schedule for the both of us that means we'll probably only see one another on weekend (much like when he was active duty). 

The more I think about it, the more I realize that I'm weirdly mourning this part of our lives. It's now in the past. The Husband is no long in the military; something he has been apart of our entire marriage. I know nothing else. I've made wonderful friends, experienced things I never would have been able to without his service, done a little travel, and gained an education. 

I never went through any of the separation classes offered to spouses, so I don't know if this is normal or not, but I hope so. 

Major life changes have always thrown me for a loop, so I guess this is normal for me. I'm just waiting for things to normalize again. 

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