"How do you do it...?"

This is probably my least favorite/most irritating question I get as a Marine wife... I know, civilian families just don't get it, so they ask random questions. 

I never know how to answer that. What do they mean? How do I do what? Live? Well, I get up in the morning, and sometimes I go pee right away and sometimes I check the weather on my phone. Depending on the day I shower asap and get ready, others I just lounge for a bit before getting ready...

I seriously am at a loss about how to answer that question. What do you say? "Oh, I don't know! I just hide in a closet all day hoping for death to come... It's such a miserable life..."

Another favorite, which usually comes after someone finds out we're in a long distance marriage is "Oh, that must be hard".

Seriously. How am I supposed to respond to that? I typically say "Meh, it's not so bad, we're both pretty busy and it's only temporary." Sometimes I think that they're expecting me to say "It's so hard. I have to convince myself to get out of bed every.single.day. we're apart." And if I'm honest, I've had a couple of those days, but I'm not going to go around broadcasting that.

I promise I don't go around telling people that The Husband and I haven't lived together since 2008, because that is quite ridiculous and attention whorish, but when it does come up, I really dread it, so I try to avoid it all together. 

Another one that gets me is the "Thank you". That's totally humbling and I never know how to respond. I don't know why I deserve a thank you, really. My half of this marriage is pretty simple compared to his. 

How do you ladies respond to these questions/statements? Give me some ideas!


  1. I had to get used to the "thank you". Although, my first "thank you" was when I was traveling home from bootcamp at Parris Island. I was in uniform, and I was taken aback. (In my head, I had only gone through basic training, and hadn't been over there, yet.) As far as the "how do you do it?" I chuckle at the question. "I just do. Because I don't have a choice." And, "I get used to it!" lol.

  2. E always had a hard time with "Thank you", when we would walk away or get in the car he would always look at me and say " If they knew what my job was they wouldn't be thanking me, my part is so small". I always had to remind him that the mechanic's couldn't work on the helicopters if it wasn't for him and what he did.

    As far as the " How do you do it" I would always respond " I just do". I didn't think they needed the specifics on how I did it.

  3. As for Thank You, I learned as a mil wife, when your hubs serves, so do you!

    The "how do you do it part" is harder. I didn't know what they meant until my hub's 1st & 2nd deployments. They don't know what its like to not have their hubs in bed with them daily, or not be able to text/call him all day, or ... you get it.

    I figured they won't understand, probably not ever. And that's not being a meanie :)

    How did I do it? Jesus. And the pride and love I feel for my man and the country he served.

  4. I haven't had to deal with the question much yet, because my boyfriend isn't deployed, and the last time he was, we were JUST getting to know each other & it wasn't quite as serious yet. His next deployment, though? That's going to suck because I KNOW people will be asking, and there's no answer. It's funny because I used to wonder the same thing - how do people do it?! Isn't it hard? - until I was actually in the situation. Then I realized, there's no "how" to it: you just do it because you can't not do it. Sometimes it sucks, sure, but when you love someone, you suck it up & do what you have to in order to be with them.

  5. "How do you do it?"

    One of my dear civilian friends asked me that years ago. She said, "If it were me, I'd make my husband fly a desk."

    I knew she didn't understand. My friend was trying to show sympathy.

    I did it because that was my life. I love my fly guy and he loved to fly (retired now).

    I also know my friendships in the sorority of the grounded and with Marine wives helped me immeasurably.

  6. Good answers. I don't mind telling people that I pray a lot, and that there are always a ton of people supporting me in prayer, and that really makes a difference. I'm a new reader, but I noticed you are a J-ville Marine wife too, and I recently started a blog trying to gather info and advice for other spouses in the area. If you are interested, check it out at: http://llightfoot.blogspot.com/. Thanks!


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