"How do you do it...?"

This is probably my least favorite/most irritating question I get as a Marine wife... I know, civilian families just don't get it, so they ask random questions. 


I never know how to answer that. What do they mean? How do I do what? Live? Well, I get up in the morning, and sometimes I go pee right away and sometimes I check the weather on my phone. Depending on the day I shower asap and get ready, others I just lounge for a bit before getting ready...


I seriously am at a loss about how to answer that question. What do you say? "Oh, I don't know! I just hide in a closet all day hoping for death to come... It's such a miserable life..."


Another favorite, which usually comes after someone finds out we're in a long distance marriage is "Oh, that must be hard".


Seriously. How am I supposed to respond to that? I typically say "Meh, it's not so bad, we're both pretty busy and it's only temporary." Sometimes I think that they're expecting me to say "It's so hard. I have to convince myself to get out of bed every.single.day. we're apart." And if I'm honest, I've had a couple of those days, but I'm not going to go around broadcasting that.


I promise I don't go around telling people that The Husband and I haven't lived together since 2008, because that is quite ridiculous and attention whorish, but when it does come up, I really dread it, so I try to avoid it all together. 


Another one that gets me is the "Thank you". That's totally humbling and I never know how to respond. I don't know why I deserve a thank you, really. My half of this marriage is pretty simple compared to his. 


How do you ladies respond to these questions/statements? Give me some ideas!

Comments

  1. I had to get used to the "thank you". Although, my first "thank you" was when I was traveling home from bootcamp at Parris Island. I was in uniform, and I was taken aback. (In my head, I had only gone through basic training, and hadn't been over there, yet.) As far as the "how do you do it?" I chuckle at the question. "I just do. Because I don't have a choice." And, "I get used to it!" lol.

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  2. E always had a hard time with "Thank you", when we would walk away or get in the car he would always look at me and say " If they knew what my job was they wouldn't be thanking me, my part is so small". I always had to remind him that the mechanic's couldn't work on the helicopters if it wasn't for him and what he did.

    As far as the " How do you do it" I would always respond " I just do". I didn't think they needed the specifics on how I did it.

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  3. As for Thank You, I learned as a mil wife, when your hubs serves, so do you!

    The "how do you do it part" is harder. I didn't know what they meant until my hub's 1st & 2nd deployments. They don't know what its like to not have their hubs in bed with them daily, or not be able to text/call him all day, or ... you get it.

    I figured they won't understand, probably not ever. And that's not being a meanie :)

    How did I do it? Jesus. And the pride and love I feel for my man and the country he served.

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  4. I haven't had to deal with the question much yet, because my boyfriend isn't deployed, and the last time he was, we were JUST getting to know each other & it wasn't quite as serious yet. His next deployment, though? That's going to suck because I KNOW people will be asking, and there's no answer. It's funny because I used to wonder the same thing - how do people do it?! Isn't it hard? - until I was actually in the situation. Then I realized, there's no "how" to it: you just do it because you can't not do it. Sometimes it sucks, sure, but when you love someone, you suck it up & do what you have to in order to be with them.

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  5. "How do you do it?"

    One of my dear civilian friends asked me that years ago. She said, "If it were me, I'd make my husband fly a desk."

    I knew she didn't understand. My friend was trying to show sympathy.

    I did it because that was my life. I love my fly guy and he loved to fly (retired now).

    I also know my friendships in the sorority of the grounded and with Marine wives helped me immeasurably.

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  6. Good answers. I don't mind telling people that I pray a lot, and that there are always a ton of people supporting me in prayer, and that really makes a difference. I'm a new reader, but I noticed you are a J-ville Marine wife too, and I recently started a blog trying to gather info and advice for other spouses in the area. If you are interested, check it out at: http://llightfoot.blogspot.com/. Thanks!

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